Guilt
by SE Uchiha
Summary: [SpikeFaye] Faye tries to cheer up Spike in her own way after Julia's death, but it goes wrong. Things are said, feelings are hurt, and guilt is inevitable.


**A/N:** My first attempt at Spike/Faye and a Cowboy Bebop fic. I'm still trying to get a feel for the characters and the storyline (I just finished the series) so this is just practice. I might take this down later because I don't really like it, but if enough people like it I won't. Please feel free to criticize this. I need it so that i can get better and get back into writing. Hope you like it:)

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Guilt

Faye x Spike

Deep green eyes narrowed in annoyance at the form slouched on the plastic yellow couch. 'God would he just get over it. It's been a week and he's still moping,' Faye thought as she stood from her sitting position on the stairs and approached the dejected bounty hunter lounging on the sofa. 'Humph. Like a kicked dog,' she mused silently.

Moments passed before her patience thinned and snapped. Faye sighed angrily, glaring down at Spike, before kicking the mossy-haired cowboy's leg. "Stop sulking and get the hell up," she growled impatiently, "we don't need crybabies on this ship." A wicked smile spread across red lips when her displeased gaze was returned in full.

"Shut the hell up." Spike mumbled before turning away from Faye and staring at the back of the couch, which groaned in protest at the movement, but held solid.

Faye's hands clenched into tight fists as frustration welled up inside of her. "She's dead, get over it," she muttered as she glowered at the back of his puffy green head, "Besides, I think the bitch deserved it." The moment the words slipped past her lips she regretted them. 'Way to go Faye! That's gonna make him feel better. Now you're...!' Her thoughts ended abruptly when Spike launched himself up from the couch and pinned her to the wall, hands wrapped tightly around her throat. Instantly Faye covered up her surprise with an arrogant smile and harsh words. "Oh...seems like I hit a nerve." She taunted. 'I'm sorry, but I can't stand to see you like this. I'll do anything to help, even if you have to hurt me to relieve your anger.'

Spike's eyes never met hers as he ground his teeth in fury. "I said shut up." he seethed, the underlying threat he usually reserved for bounties and enemies laced his voice. His grip constricted for a moment as he strained to reign in his anger. Silence filled the room as Spike finally lifted his fury darkened eyes to meet Faye's. "You know nothing."

"I know that you're pathetic for pining over some chick. So what if _Julia_ died, she was nothing special. Just some whore." Faye choked out. 'Please, forgive me. I'm so sorry Spike.' Tears prickled the corner of her eyes as her lungs struggled for air. Her hands reached up to grasp his wrists as she tried to pry his strong hands away from her throat. Her efforts were futile and so she dropped her arms back to her sides where they hung limp; muscles weak from oxygen deprivation.

Two-toned eyes glinted in a way that sent shivers of fear down her spine. "Don't ever say her name again, you have no right. If anyone's a whore it's you." he spoke. His words were harsh and abrasive, and Faye struggled to keep her tears from overflowing. Her green eyes narrowed at the insult, while inside her heart cracked just a little. A smug smirk of satisfaction formed on Spike's lips when Faye didn't reply. "Julia was more of a woman than you'll ever be, and she even had a past." He knew that was a low blow but he couldn't find it in himself to care. He wanted to hurt someone, to make someone else cry so he wouldn't have to.

Faye gasped. That was way too personal and way to painful to bring up in a petty argument like this. Somewhere in the back of her mind, part of her reasoned that she was a hypocrite because she had brought up Julia, a subject just as taboo to Spike as her past was to her. She gritted her teeth in both pain and frustration. Black spots danced at the edges of her vision and tears blurred her sight until all she saw was splotches of color. "You bastard." she growled as she renewed her struggle for air; nails tearing at his arms as her legs flailed wildly.

Spike leaned in closer, his nose touching hers as he spoke. "And you know what?" he said, evil smile twisting his face, "I think it would have been better if you had died instead."

Faye's struggling ceased and her head fell limp. Spike smirked triumphantly and released her, watching as her body collapsed into a boneless pile on the cold metal floor. The room was silent once more as he stared down at her motionless body. Seconds passed before her sobs reached his ears, and just like that his anger was gone. Hurt filled eyes gazed up at him and a sickening twisting sensation filled his gut. As she turned away to stare at the wall (and hide her tears), her short purple locks brushed against her neck drawing his attention away from her eyes. He nearly sighed with relief until he noticed the purple hand shaped bruise that had started to form on her pale skin. Bile clogged his throat as he realized that his hands had made that mark. Her small pained voice caught his attention next.

"Do you really think that?" she whispered as she heaved her broken body up from the floor. Spike looked on as Faye pulled herself together and wiped her tears away with the back of her hand. She raised a hand when he opened his mouth to reply. "Forget it." she said as she turned and walked towards the stairs, waving a hand over her shoulder. As she reached the top of the stairs he heard her mutter, "Maybe your right," before she disappeared around the corner.

Spike stood frozen; his eyes locked on where Faye had last been. He shook his head to clear his mind, walked over to the couch, and dropped back down into his previous lounging position. Slowly he raised his hands up to his eye level and he stared at them, as guilt welled up inside of him.

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A/N 2:Hope you liked it! Please review! 


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